We left off last time with a big change coming. I had spent almost 4 years with a Direct Sales company and I was DONE. I was burnt out, tired and uninspired. I had 4 kiddos under the age of 5 and we had just dealt with a long house-selling journey and a move into a new home. Our fixer upper had a long list of things that needed done (still does) and my kids took up about every OUNCE of mental energy I had left. My parents had moved cross country the summer before and we didn't have a lot of help. We needed to increase our income and we needed to do  it FAST.

June 2012 I released my team with my previous company. I couldn't continue to lead by poor example and I determined while sales & marketing had filled a gap for a few years I wasn't interested in doing it again. I absolutely felt like a failure. I had quit. I had given up. And I didn't like that feeling at all.

And then I saw a friend posting about Perfectly Posh. I will be honest, I had NO interest in selling bath and body products. I was a self declared lotion hater and I am a notorious cheapskate. Why would I buy bath and body products from a company/consultant when I could get that stuff at Wal-Mart? Looking back I can now recognize the Holy Spirit not just whispering but SCREAMING at me to pay attention. Something had caught my attention and I launched into full on research mode. I wanted to know it all and I couldn't find enough information on the company, the founders, the products and the ingredients. The company was 10 months old and I knew...this was a huge opportunity.

What if I could take everything I had learned in my first company and do  it BETTER. I knew the best things I could do to build and build fast. Sales and customers would come but the opportunity to build a team was shining brightly. I added up everything I wanted to buy and it was more than joining for $99. I was highly conflicted. I can still remember sitting on my bed in my pajamas talking to my husband and saying, "Am I crazy to think  I can sell soap and LOTION? I don't even like lotion!" But I had that gut feeling. In his typical laid back fashion he said, "Go for it" and "what do you have to lose?"

Well $100 bucks to start! When I say we were struggling I don't say that to sound relate-able. It's the honest truth of where we were financially at that time. I pulled the trigger on the $99 to join Perfectly Posh when we got paid and I couldn't pay a few bills because of it. So I KNEW I had to make that money back and make it back fast. But people were interested and intrigued and in just 24 hours I had 3 team members hop on board and join me. It lit the spark inside and I knew I could do this. I would build as fast and furiously as I could to make back that $100 and prove to myself that I could. And I did.

My Posh story from that point is no fairy tale. It took a LOT of hard work to introduce a brand where there was NO brand recognition. People had no idea who we were or what "pampering products" meant. I booked every tiny event, every party I could get people to agree to and sent out as many samples as I could afford. It wasn't a lot. I made labels and stuck them on everything because I couldn't afford business cards and I paced myself at just 10 sample packs a month because it was all the postage budget I could spare. But it worked. Posh was something special and I had that excitement and enthusiasm that made me want to share it with everyone. In 90 days, my tiny team of 43 went Premier. I felt like I had made it. But looking back now I can see it was only the beginning. That's the thing about ANY business. You don't "make it" Any woman in business can tell you that the work NEVER STOPS. It's not like going to work, clocking in and out for a paycheck. Sometimes I miss that. As rewarding as owning your own business is, it's also exhausting, demanding, all encompassing and overwhelming on any given day. You truly do NEED the strength of the Lord to keep going. When you want to quit, when it feels HEAVY and it doesn't seem fun or inspired I challenge  you to look at your relationship with the Lord. My business has seen numerous ups and downs and the downs are generally inside my own head. The enemy comes to kill and DESTROY and that ain't no laughing lighthearted matter. There is spiritual warfare going on around us ALL DAY EVERY DAY. We must be on guard. We must feed ourselves TRUTH. We must be engaged in the word of God. We must seek Christ centered authentic community. We must guard our hearts and close our mouths. Don't let him destroy what HE has determined is GOOD.

This was a hard one to write but God has been stirring it around in my heart for the past 2 weeks so I am just going to let that pour out here. It may not make a lot of sense but I  hope that someone can relate and He can use the Holy Spirit to direct it where it's needed.

Business gets hard when we fail. Really Hard. And harder as a Christian woman in business.



Let me tell you a little bit about my business. As some of you know, I work in Social Selling, its the new hybrid between old school direct sales (yes think Tupperware and Mary Kay) with a little bit of network marketing thrown in on top of this whole new sales world we live in called Social Media. I started in this field in 2008. My baby boy was a year old and my husband had just come home from a year long deployment. He was supposed to come home and walk into a new job with the military...well that didn't happen. Our income was drastically cut down as he returned to a manager position in retail sales and I was working a solid 50+ hours a week as a Wedding and Event Coordinator. Let me tell you, everyone thinks that is a really fun exciting job until they do it. Give up your weekends and holidays for 4 years and  then let me know how you feel about it! But I had DREAMED of this job...and landed it at the age of 22 fresh out of college. Somehow the real life version didn't match up with my favorite movie.



When Rob got home, suddenly we made way less money yet we still had a full time daycare bill and I knew I needed to do something extra. He was going back to school on top of working full time and drill so him adding another job wasn't feasible. We already had a crazy schedule so we needed something super flexible. I didn't care about titles or how cool my job sounded...I needed to pay my car payment. Enter Direct Sales.

Yes I was one of those people who swore I would NEVER EVER do sales like that. First of all, I am not a good salesperson. I am not pushy and the thought of hard selling people on buying something from ME made me cringe. I had seen a friend start a successful sales business and thought, "Good for her, but I would NEVER do that!". Well things change when you need to pay your bills and there is something right in front of you. I had that gut feeling...which for me is usually the Holy Spirit knocking at my door. I spent $185 to get my "kit" for a product line I had NEVER tried...I just knew that I could work hard and make it work. If I could make at least enough to make $250 a month I could pay our car payment, and take that burden off my husband. In 2 months I had sold over $3000 worth of product and built a little team of 3-4 people. I was hooked. I wasn't terrible at this after all. Suddenly I saw that this could be the way out of a job that I hated...and a way home to my baby boy.



When Max was born I stopped caring so much about what my job title was and how cool my job SOUNDED and I started caring a whole lot more about being home at a decent hour and not dropping my baby off at 5:45AM to make it to work on time and picking him up as the last kid there at 6pm. I had to get OVER myself and my own prejudice against direct sales to make it happen. I had to swallow my PRIDE. Turns out I wasn't too good to do direct sales after all.



One year later, I quit my full time job to stay home with Max and work this "work from home business" Our budget only had a $50 cushion each month. I worked that business for 4 years and learned A LOT. I wasn't the best consultant out there. I wasn't extremely successful. I never made a full time income. But I was able to stay home with my babies (and 3 more came over the course of those 4 years) and I was forever changed. I had discovered a better way. Why spend over half my take home income on childcare to be miserable? Life wasn't easy and money was getting tight but now we had 4 small children. Daycare would eat up ALL my income if I were to go back to work in the same or similar field. I wasn't sure what the future looked like but I knew that going back to the traditional working world wasn't the answer. Little did I know what would happen next.

To be continued in Part 2...

Have you heard the new song by Francesca Battistelli? If We're Honest is one of my favorites and here are a few of my favorite lyrics.

Truth is harder than a lie
The dark seems safer than the light
And everyone has a heart that loves to hide
I'm a mess and so are you
We've built walls nobody can get through
Yeah, it may be hard, but the best thing we could ever do, ever do

Bring your brokenness, and I'll bring mine
'Cause love can heal what hurt divides
And mercy's waiting on the other side
If we're honest
If we're honest

This really spoke to me in correlation with todays Scripture that was posted on the GraceLeads facebook page. As women we are often taught to hold ourselves to this impossible standard of perfection...we hold ourselves to a standard we would never hold a girlfriend to. Next time you are beating yourself up remind yourself that GOD's POWER is made PERFECT in our weaknesses. When we acknowledge our weaknesses HE can show up and SHOW OFF. Our testimony is most powerful when we're honest.

When we put on the mask of perfection and we close ourselves off from being authentic and vulnerable we only allow ourselves to shine. When we open our mouths and hearts and we share our messy, ugly, imperfections we show others that they are not alone. If we all walk around each day in a mask that covers our own mess then we all feel isolated and alone. We all miss out on the beauty of His grace that covers up all that messy hard STUFF!

Listen, your mess is my mess. I push Publish and then lose my temper and patience with my kids too. I didn't start GraceLeads to show you how much I have it all together but to put my arms around my girlfriends and say, I get it, I understand. You are not alone. My heart, head and home are messy too. But God's GRACE covers all of that. He covers the hard days, the exhaustion, the plate that is too full, HE can bridge the gap for us, if we ask Him.

Lay down your mess at his feet today and know that you are not alone. You are surrounded by Grace girlfriends who get it. His Grace is SUFFICIENT for YOU. Not for everyone BUT you. His POWER is made PERFECT in YOUR weaknesses. Therefore, let US BOAST all the more GLADLY about our weaknesses, so that ALL of Christ's POWER will rest on us.

Why GraceLeads?

Because He called me to it.

Have you ever had that distinct GUT feeling that keeps prompting you to action? Everything seems to back it up...the sermon, the song, the message you hear, a text from a friend. That's why GraceLeads was started.

I am just like you. As a busy wife, mom and woman running a business from home, the last thing I WANTED to do was add another thing to my plate. To be honest, I felt and feel inadequate and scared. But I have found myself here before, standing on the edge of something unknown, only knowing that with all certainty that He is calling me to it.

I kept mulling it over, talking it out, praying and waiting. But at the end of the day I could hear that prompting, some say gut, I say Holy Spirit. There just isn't a lot of Christian community built for the working woman. There are groups for moms, for homeschoolers, for wives and for missions but what about us who find our "mission field" amongst the working mama's struggling to keep up with the school assignments, the birthday parties, the business calls, emails, taxes and dinner. I know you are there, I have hundreds of friends who find themselves in this group...a woman after Gods own heart, seeking to have fullness in marriage, not totally screw up our children, remember to say the bedtime prayers and snuggle just a little longer when we have a million things on our to-do list.

Where is our bucket filled? Where can you go and find someone who says, I get it. Who can you ask for prayer about things in your work or your business? Who understands what its like to juggle a baby on your hip, a team, a task, and get dinner on the table at the same time. That is why GraceLeads was started. GRACE....that is the very essence of what keeps me going each day. Despite the pace, the parenting and the people, HIS grace is enough.


Without Him, I am weak. Remember that good old saying, He doesn't call the equipped, He equips the Called. That is what a sweet friend reminded me of when I told her I felt inadequate. I am not equipped but He is calling. I am not enough, but HE is. I don't have all the answers but I have a keyboard and a phone, social media and a heart that pounds with the knowledge that my sisters in Christ need to be reminded. We are all inadequate. None of us have it all together. We are weak...but HIS POWER is made PERFECT in our weaknesses. His POWER is spoken through our vulnerability. And the enemy  is defeated when we open our mouths and share in authentic community. So welcome to Grace Leads, may you be encouraged as we celebrate the grace and grit it takes to dedicate yourself to living FULLY in relationship with Christ, to your family and to your WORK. May we GLORIFY Him in ALL that we do. May we let Grace Lead.